Raising Up Godly Children

Thank you for joining me today! Our world has changed drastically since I was young. There are a tremendous amount of worldly pulls on our children to follow after the world or the evil one. I pray this post will give you encouragement and aid in how to train up children who will follow after the Lord. Eric

The most beneficial thing parents can do to raise godly children is to ‘be’ godly parents. This means you don’t simply ‘talk’ about faith, you ‘live’ it!

Let’s look at what Moses shared with the children of Israel as they were preparing to enter the promised land. Deuteronomy 6:1a,2a,5,6, and 7, These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you… 2 and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the LORD your God as long as you live.... 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.“

‘Commit yourself wholeheartedly! ‘Repeat them again and again (repeat them diligently NASB20) to your children, when you sit, walk, lie down and when you get up!’ It is a parent’s responsibility to teach your children to hold fast to God’s Word. It is the foundation of what we believe and how we are to live. All Scripture is God-breathed and teaches us what is true, what is wrong in our lives, and corrects us to do what is right. (2 Timothy 3:16,17).

Importantly, we see that Timothy was faithfully taught by his grandmother and mother. (2 Timothy 1:5). Grandparents, you also are to be involved in helping shape your grandchildren’s spiritual life! “A Christian upbringing and a spiritual family atmosphere are decidedly advantages.” (Textual notes NSFLB). We as parents are responsible to bring up our children to know and love God.

Our foundational Scripture is Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” The Greek word translated ‘discipline’ is paideia. Paideia refers to the process of training and educating, particularly in the context of moral and spiritual development. It encompasses both the corrective and instructive aspects of discipline, aiming to cultivate virtue and godliness. The term implies a comprehensive approach to up-bringing, including teaching, admonition, and correction.” (Strong’s). Nouthesia, the Greek word used for ‘instruction,’ refers to the act of providing guidance, correction or instruction with the intent of improving moral or spiritual behavior. It is often used in the context of a loving and caring relationship, where the goal is to guide someone towards righteousness and away from error. It implies a gentle yet firm approach to correction, emphasizing the importance of wisdom and understanding in the process of admonition. (Strong’s)

Notice also in verse 4 that the scripture states that ‘fathers’ are primarily responsible. Expositors Greek Testament Commentary states, “The parental ‘duty’ is set forth in terms of the father’s obligation because the father is the ruler of the house, as the husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23), the mother’s rule and responsibility being subordinate to his and represented by him.” 1 Thessalonians 2:11 and 12, “And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. 12 We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you to share in his Kingdom and glory.” “The phrase ’as a father treats’ is significant because it conveys authority, care and responsibility.”(Bible Hub Study Bible). “A father should encourage, exhort, and implore that their children would live their lives in a way that God would consider worthy.” (Meyers New Testament Commentary).

We understand that the mother is just as important and should be involved just as the father. However, it is he who is biblically responsible to be the leader of his household. (Not as a ‘lord,’ but as a godly man.)

This brings to mind a tragically sad truth. According to Niussp.org 2023, “in 20% of white, 29% of Hispanic, and 50% of black families children live absent a biological father.” Joseph Chamie stated in January 13, 2025 that “America leads the world in single-parent households.”

It is a sad situation that so many fathers no longer take that responsibility of bringing their children up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Even some parents who are Christians, have relegated the teaching of values to their children to public schools or at best to Sunday School classes in their church. Some parents get so busy they forget that their first responsibility, aside from their own personal relationship with God, is to their children. God did not give schools or even the church the job of raising or bringing up their children!

For those in single parent homes, do not despair, be it a mother or a father alone with the children, know that God is with you. With God on your side, you can have a tremendous effect on the spiritual life of your children.

In homes where you have both parents, it is important for the parents to be in unity in regard to parenting. A parent should never let a child play the parents against each other, In decision making, the parents need to come to agreement with each other in private and present a united front to the children. The father should have the final say.

Consistent discipline is a very important part of loving and raising your children. Proverbs 3:11 and 12 reads, “My child, don't reject the LORD's discipline, and don't be upset when he corrects you. 12 For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.“ Proverbs 13:24 reveals, “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.” This verse, indicating it is alright to spank a child is contrary to contemporary wisdom. Understand, spanking is not promoting abuse, but a firm correction and it should only take place when the behavior warrants it. Children should never be disciplined in anger and communication should always be partnered with discipline. The child should understand why they are being disciplined, taught the proper or correct behavior, and told that they are loved once the discipline has been completed.

If you feel strongly that you do not want to spank your child/children, make sure the consequences for incorrect behavior is something that will get the attention of the child. Some options of discipline for unacceptable behaviors would be restricted phone or TV privileges, writing sentences, or standing in the corner.

Thinking back to our first scripture (Deuteronomy 6:6 and 7), make sure to have devotions with your children daily. This should include Bible reading and prayer. Have your children participate. Even when they are too young to read, you can teach them to pray.

Spending time with children is extremely important in raising them. Make time for them. Let them know they are important to you. Play with them, attend their school and/or summer-time activities. Communicate with them. They need to know that they can talk to you and that you will listen to them.

As much as anything, pray diligently for your children. Pray for God’s angels to be there and protect them. (Psalm 34:7). Take authority over the enemy who will try to influence them. Speak blessings and life over them.

During our sons’ college years, they were notified that due to an increase in student enrollment and a lack of housing, as upperclassmen, they would be housed in the basement of a Freshman dormitory. Feeling that would be a detrimental move for them, the boys and a roommate had a meeting with some college officials.

When it was time to start the new school year, we moved them into an on-campus apartment.

My wife and I were blessed when we encountered two of the college officials the boys had met with, concerning the housing issue, in a store in town. When they saw us with the boys, they asked if we were their parents. Our sons introduced them to us. Then, they told us it was a privilege to meet us and explained that they were extremely impressed with the mature and godly manner in which our sons approached the housing issue. They also said, because of that, they chose to let them move into the apartment. In fact, they were permitted to stay in that house apartment every year, until they graduated. (For Chris, three years!).

There have been times when my wife and I have been asked what we did in raising our two sons, because they have grown into godly men who put God first in their lives. Neither one is a pastor, like their father, however, both are active in leadership roles in their church.

This post was written to answer the question of how we raised our sons. We spoke the Word, read the Word, prayed, and made sure they attended church. We played with them, communicated and encouraged them to communicate with us. At least one of us, (if both couldn’t), attended their school and summer activities: band and orchestra performances, plays, show choir, and attended high school and college basketball or football games to listen to them play in the pep band. We have corrected and disciplined them when necessary. We tell them constantly that we love them and are proud of them and do our best to show them, as well.

In preparation to write this post, their mom asked what things we did as their parents that were the most helpful and meaningful in relation to their becoming godly men.

Here are Stephen and Christopher’s responses:

Exposing us to Scripture and Biblical principles.

Intentionally limiting what today would be media and worldly exposure.

You ‘parented’ us, by spending time with us and giving parental guidance.

Modeled godly behavior by reading the Scriptures and praying together with us and also in individual study times.

Being there for them and supporting their activities.

Immersing them in church and spiritual things.

You put us ‘second,’ (which means after the Lord and before ministry and the world).

Were we perfect parents? Definitely not! Did we make mistakes? We certainly did. If when we made a mistake or error in judgment, and our sons deserved an apology - we apologized and asked for their forgiveness. Then, we prayed that the Lord would help us be better parents and that He would minister to the boys according to their needs.

We don’t take credit. God gets the credit and all of the glory for all things positive in our lives!

I will end today with the following Scripture.

Psalm 78:1-7 :

“O my people, listen to my instructions. Open your ears to what I am saying, 2 for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past-- 3 stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. 4 We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the LORD, about his power and his mighty wonders. 5 For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel. He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, 6 so the next generation might know them--even the children not yet born--and they in turn will teach their own children. 7 So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands.”

Unless noted otherwise, all scripture is taken from the New Living Translation.

NSFLB New Spirit Filled Life Bible

NASB20 New American Standard Bible 2020