Thank you for joining me for this very important lesson. I believe that most of our relational difficulties in our societies today stem from a stirring up of ‘offense’ by the enemy to destroy unity. I pray the Lord will open your understanding of His Word as you read. Sincerely, Eric

When my wife, Donna and I were first married, we lived in a mobile home by Pymatuning Lake. We had a shared circular drive with folks in another mobile home.

Being newlyweds, when I went out to the garage to prepare the mower to mow the lawn, Donna went out with me.

All of a sudden, a very furious man came into the garage ranting about how I ‘raced’ in and out of the driveway, stirring up dust, which went into their windows!

He started his rant with, “Are you Thompson? I said, “yes” and the man proceeded to say, “I’d just as soon punch you in the face as look at you!” Now, to be honest, it raised my hackles and offended me. Here was this old guy coming into my garage berating and almost challenging me, in front of my new wife!

If it is okay with you, I would like to finish telling you my story a little later - right now, I’d like to begin looking at our topic for today’s post - taking offense!

The world in which we live has changed drastically since the days of my youth. When I was younger, the focus and actions of society were to work and live together peaceably.

The spiritual forces of satan are working overtime to divide the human race and to destroy mankind’s unity. Why? People divided will fail.

It was shocking to discover how far away we had fallen, when the government and media blatantly told people to spy on their neighbors and even on their family and report them to the authorities, if they had any gatherings during the covid pandemic.

Since that type of behavior was encouraged, we find ourselves in a society where nations, governments, and individuals are more divided than ever before.

We have seen a huge increase in the fractionalization of our world’s societies. I believe one of the major causes for the divisions stem from everyone taking offense. Why? Because now, most individuals believe that every action taken these days affects “me.”

Before we get into the Word of God, I’d like us to look at the various meanings we find for the word ‘offend.’ Merriman-Webster has listed many definitions of ‘offend’ or ‘offended’ based on use in sentences. i.e. “violate a law or rule; do wrong, to cause difficulty, discomfort, or injury; to cause dislike, anger, or vexation (thoughtless words that offend needlessly); to cause pain; hurt; cause (a person or group) to feel hurt, angry, or upset by something said or done.”

In Webster’s Dictionary, ‘offend’ means: to create resentment, anger, or displeasure; to hurt the feelings of, cause to be resentful or angry, and to insult whether intentionally or unintentionally . Wow!

Due to offenses, duels have been fought, people have physically assaulted or been assaulted, friendships destroyed, families divided, murders have been committed and wars have begun! Just in looking at the definitions, we can understand why the enemy of our soul has pushed and caused such an uprising in people taking offenses.

We must understand that whether the offenses are intentional or not, God’s Word teaches an entirely different way to handle being offended. Large offenses or small offenses are to be handled in the same manner.

Proverbs instructs us that offenses should not be taken to begin with! Basically, it comes down to the choices we make.

Proverbs 10:12 (ESV), “ Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers (pardons) all offenses.”

Proverbs 19:11 (ESV), “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

Proverbs 12:16 (NLT), “A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.”

We are told to let love cover, or for us to overlook offenses, and to ignore an insult.

When we look at the love chapter, we discover that we need to learn to live beyond our feelings! 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 in the Amplified Bible reveals that “Love is not rude, not self seeking, is not easily provoked, overly sensitive, or easily angered. Love does not take into account a suffered wrong and is not self seeking.” Take note that the word ‘love’ is agape, or the God kind of love.

Jesus is our greatest example of how to deal with offenses! Even though He was affronted by the religious leaders, falsely accused, and crucified - He did not take offense or retaliate (revile in turn). 1 Peter 2:23 (NIV) reads, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” Truth in Action in the New Spirit Filled Life Bible expounded on this verse by stating, “Circumstances do not affect godly principles for living. Whether you are being loved or cursed, you are to bless. Whether you will be embraced or persecuted, your life and testimony are to be a witness to the hope of salvation in Jesus.”

We are to follow the example set for us by Jesus.

1 Peter 4:12-14 (Amplified Bible), “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test you [that is, to test the quality of your faith], as though something strange or unusual were happening to you. 13 But insofar as you are sharing Christ's sufferings, keep on rejoicing, so that when His glory [filled with His radiance and splendor] is revealed, you may rejoice with great joy. 14 If you are insulted and reviled for [bearing] the name of Christ, you are blessed [happy, with life-joy and comfort in God's salvation regardless of your circumstances], because the Spirit of glory and of God is resting on you [and indwelling you--He whom they curse, you glorify].” ‘Surprised ‘ means astonished at the novelty or strangeness of a thing. In verse 12 ‘fiery’ (pyrosis) means calamities or trials that test the character. In verse 13, ‘sharing’ is from the Greek word, koinoneo, meaning being made a partner. Then ‘sufferings’ means misfortune, calamity - the afflictions which Christians must undergo in behalf of the same cause for which Christ patiently endured. You see, as believers in Christ, we have the same enemy that He has. We have been told that we will have trials and tribulations, so we need to realize that the enemy, among other things, will try to divide us by causing us to face offenses and allowing them to tear us apart.

Matthew 5:10 and 11 (NLT), “God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. 11 "God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers.”

When love is allowed to overcome our inclination to self, it will cover a multitude of sins. That ‘‘inclination to self’ could also be called self-seeking or self-preoccupied. We are instructed in Scripture to put others first. A lot of us make all of our decisions with our focus directed inwardly. The driving forces for what we do or how we think should be directed by what the Lord tells us in His Word. i.e. “seek first the Kingdom or God!” You see, our flesh is not our friend.

1 Peter 4:8 (Amplified Bible), “The end and culmination of all things is near. Therefore, be sound-minded and self-controlled for the purpose of prayer [staying balanced and focused on the things of God so that your communication will be clear, reasonable, specific and pleasing to Him.] 8 Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others].” That word ‘love’ is translated from the word, agape, which is the same ‘love’ of God we just read about in 1 Corinthians 13!

If we can walk in love and forgiveness as Jesus did, we will not take offense and be burdened with the resulting resentment and anger that taking offense brings.

Indeed, we are commanded to forgive as Christ forgave in Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV), “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Colossians 3: 13 (NKJV) also instructs us, “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Sometimes, forgiveness is really hard. I think back to a shooting at an Amish school in Pennsylvania where five young girls were killed. Yet, their parents made a point of expressing forgiveness to the shooter.

Jesus, from the cross, spoke these words, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” Sometimes, we might need to pray, “Father, help me forgive them with Your forgiveness.” He will do it.

We are to, basically, offer unlimited forgiveness as instructed by Jesus to forgive 7 times 70 times for the same offense! (Matthew 18:21 and 22).

We must learn to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh (Galatians 5:16). We are instructed to be patient with difficult people. (2 Timothy 2:24 NLT). I would encourage you to not be one of those difficult people!

Good insight was shared in psychologytoday.com regarding things which cause and the controlling of offenses.

Causes: First - “Making assumptions about someone else’s intentions can make a person more reactive.

Second - One of the most common reasons (root cause) people take offense is insecurity (based on ones’ self contempt, ideas, and feelings about themselves.) Why do certain people take offense so often? They have unhealed emotional or psychological issues related to past experiences. (Mine: If this is you, ask God to bring healing into your life.) Then realize this - to be offended is a choice we make. It is not a condition inflicted or imposed on us..

Controlling it: Building self-esteem and pressing “pause” can be useful ways to calm down when feeling triggered.”

Your self esteem should come from the knowledge that you are loved and accepted so much, the Son of God came from heaven to die for you! You are accepted and loved.

Now, the rest of the story… I put aside my feelings to lash out with my own anger at the gentleman who was so furious. I chose to speak very calmly and apologized for stirring up the dust in our driveway.

At that point, we witnessed a truth in God’s Word take place. (“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1). The gentleman softened and stated that, really, it bothered his wife more than him. He told us that she hadn’t been feeling well. Then, he went back to his home and I began to mow!

The guard was off our old mower and when I was going along the edge of the driveway (my first trip around) a stone was thrown and hit this neighbor’s classic car that was sitting in front of his house! Oh no! I figured he would come over and punch me in the face now!

However, because of my allowing the Spirit of God to control my initial reaction to his rage - he came out, looked at the damage and after I told him I would pay for the repairs, he said, “Don’t worry, about it! I’ll take care of it. I like to work on my cars!” What a beautiful demonstration of my choosing to not take offense and seeing the Lord work a miracle!

If you are one who is always easily offended, ask the Lord to reveal ‘why’ you react the way you do. Then, ask Him to help strengthen your relationship with Him. Ask also that you would be more responsive and motivated by His Holy Spirit to make that choice to not take offense when the opportunity arises in your life again. (It undoubtedly will.)

Your goal needs to be that you will always choose to let the Holy Spirit guide, govern, lead, and be in control of your life.

Choose to not take offense again.

ESV English Standard Version

NLT New Kiving Translation

NIV New International Version

NKJV New King James Version